


Reverse

by Heartbre4k_Kid



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5, 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:50:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7158170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heartbre4k_Kid/pseuds/Heartbre4k_Kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if you had a second chance at first love? Now 19, Michael Clifford and Jess Hansdown have been apart for 3 years since Michael's band found fame. Michael is known for being a bit of a charmer, ladies man, but is that the truth or just the media spreading lies? What happens when Michael and Jess meet through a twist of fate? Will love blossom again or burn out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye

Michael's P.O.V

As I walk up the familiar steps of my girlfriend's house, I begin to plan what I'm going to say.  
'It's not you, it's me." ?  
No, that's too crap. And cliché.  
Fuck, we've been dating for two years. She deserves a better explanation than this.  
My hand shakes, but I fight against my nerves and knock on the tall wooden door - the door to the Hansdown family's house.  
'Hey Mikey!' Jess answers the door, smiling. I'm glad it's her, not her parents. She's dressed casually-the kind of simplicity I love. Black skinny jeans and her brother Jace's shirt-black with a cute little pocket. She has stripy, fluffy multicoloured socks on her tiny feet, which look really warm.  
'Hi,' I croak, trying not to sound idiotic. Which is near impossible.  
'Do you want to come inside? My parents are out.' She interrupts my thoughts, opening the door a little wider.  
I take a deep breath and follow her welcome, knowing this is the last time I'll see her as she is now-my Jess.

'Listen, Jess... there's something we need to talk about.' I take a seat on the sofa beside her. She's so close I can smell her- a mixture of spices and fresh mint. I gulp, and then it all comes out in one big stream. 'You know my band 5 Seconds of Summer, we've made a big decision-a-and we've decided it's best for the band's future if...we move to London.'  
Jess looks at me, though not directly. And then she leans back into the cushions.  
'Right, well.' She smiles sadly, gazing at the ceiling. I can hear the regret in her voice, but she makes herself sound enthusiastic. 'Then you have to go for it. It's your dream, right? You and all the others. That's all I want, really. If it makes you happy, don't let me hold you back.'

Jess's P.O.V

Even as I spoke I regretted the words.  
What would I do without Mikey?  
'I hope you know that-that we can still be friends. If you want.' Michael offers.  
I should say 'No! We can't be just 'friends', not when I'm still in love with you. I'll never not be in love with you.'  
But instead, stupid little me went with a simple 'Sure. Of course we can.'  
At least it alleviates some of the stress from his face, though I don't know how he could think that. Michael rises and goes over to the door, but as he reaches out he turns and I run to him.  
'Goodbye Jess.' Michael forgivingly pulls me into a hug, mumbling 'I'm sorry' into my hair. I know he hurts. He knows I hurt. It's just the fact that we're hurting together-and nothing can fix it.  
He kisses my forehead lightly, looks into my eyes one last time and with that-he's gone.  
I'm left feeling empty, alone, emotional and mentally drained. I feel like utter crap. My boyfriend, well, now ex-boyfriend has left me. But I understand if I was in his position I would do the same. I'm sure he'll meet some beautiful model or some rock goddess or a totally stunning actress-and marry her, while I watch from the sidelines.  
I'll have to go back to lying to my parents by telling them I'm dating Zac Efron. It's a good thing they don't have a clue who he is.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this. In this chapter it's set in about 2012.


	2. Hot Chelle Rae

Michael P.O.V

Jess is ignoring me I know it she won't respond to my calls or my text, I even DM'd her. She's blanking me, maybe it's her way to move on but we said we'd still be friends. We've been in London 2 weeks and then we got a call from Hot Chelle Rae's manager asking if we would support them we said yes so here we find our selves back in Sydney waiting to go on stage before Hot Chelle Rae.   
I try calling Jess again but it goes straight to voicemail 'she'll call when she's ready mate' Calum informs me patting me on the shoulder. 'But we need you to stop sulking and come perform with us' Ashton takes my shoulder in his hand and drags me away to the stage. It's October and the last date of us supporting Hot Chelle Rae on their Whatever World Tour.I'm sad this tour is coming to a end, I'm going to miss the familiarity of Sydney.

After the concert we find Hot Chelle Rae and all of us squeeze it to their dressing room.'This is just a little present from us to you as a thank you for letting us tour with it means a lot to us' Ash says handing them a bottle of wine. 'It's been wonderful guys...Look before you leave Michael can I talk to you?' Nash asks I nod and follow him round the corner out of earshot of the others 'I know your bummed out about Jess but I promise one day this will all be fine and everything will be okay' I pull him in for a hug thanking him and then say goodbye to the others 'don't forget about us when you big and famous on your own Arena tour and when you've got all your songs going to number one' Ryan says.

'Stay in touch'Jamie calls after us as we make our way back to the cars to go back to Australia for a while 'I love you' is the last thing I hear Ian yell after us.  
That's the end of The Whatever Tour, wow! What a journey I'm really going to miss performing in front of all those people with my three best mates. What's next for us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading please let me know what you think


	3. ARIAS

2014 at the ARIAS

Michael's POV

Straightening out my jacket, I begin to get ready to leave the car. It's a damn amazing car too-a sleek, sexy black Hummer- which is why I'm wearing good shoes, so I don't, y'know, mess up the interior or whatever.  
My stomach is filled with nervous butterflies-cliché, I know, but my life is like that. Of course it's not as bad as the first time we walked into a recording studio, or the first time we had a real gig with real, proper fans and not fellow students or family members in the audience. Then, my knees and legs trembled and I couldn't speak- and I was almost sick but Calum gave me a death stare (reminiscent of that time I spewed on the school floor-that's for another time) so I held it back.  
'Now, remember Michael. Absolutely zero swearing.' Luke warns me. Fuck's sake, he knows what I'm like. I know what he's like, he's not exactly Mr Pure himself. I suppose it's just for media's sake-I can do that. As long as it's only a few hours.  
'Yeah...yeah...whatever, dude.' I wave him off and his face falls, obviously stung by his failure as a mother. But we're all way too excited to remain unhappy for long-and heed Luke's rules he breaks himself.  
This is fucking awesome. We're at the bloody ARIAS and no one's kicking us out.  
We belong here.  
Holy shit, there's a lot of bastards about.

Since the tour with the fabulous Hot Chelle Rae, I guess you could say we've had a bit of success. Okay, 'a bit' is coming on a bit too modest. But seriously, we've only toured with One Direction, yes, the One Direction-not once but twice! Our single 'She Looks So Perfect went number one seemingly out of the blue. It took Australia first, and just like the Domino Theory we learnt about in History a bloody long time ago (I knew that would come in handy some day), other countries fell victim to it and we swept the world.  
We released an album and now, here we are at the ARIAS-nominated for 'Best Group', 'Best Pop Release' and 'Breakthrough Artist', and in addition to that we're performing our single which should be great. Get the crowd stomping and cheering, garner their affections, easy peasy. I love it.  
I just wish Jess were here to see it.

Jess's P.O.V

'Please come with me!' my best friend Skye begs. She latches onto my arm and pulls me onto the sofa.  
Dear Skye is so determined for me to go to the ARIAS with her since she's got tickets (slipped to us by one of her many lowkey high-profile hookups) but I refuse to go since He Who Shall Not Be Named (my ex, not Voldemort) will be there and I really don't want to see him.  
She's so determined she drove over to my house and threatened to stab me with her wing mirror if I didn't obey.  
But I really can't face it. They've hit it big all over the globe. I thought it was just a one-week stint, a hit that fizzled into nothing, but apparently they're a huge thing now. They pop up on all my social media feeds and I now avoid the radio at all costs (apart from Radio 4 and Classic.fm - that's all I can bear). I must admit that I did search on YouTube for a video containing all of his solos and though I'm still awfully bitter about it, I can't actually go to sleep without listening to the video at least once.  
'Please, please, please , please!' Skye groans.  
Suddenly and unexpectedly, I snap. I've had enough of the word 'please' that even any sadomasochist would reconsider their morality.  
'If I say yes, will you shut up?!'  
She blinks for a second, and then lets out a gigantic squeal of joy. She hugs me, and then grabs her stuff and flings herself in the bathroom-to get ready, I suppose. Not that she needs much doing, she's literally flirt material already.  
I'm starting to regret my decision. He'll definitely be there. I know it, along with the other boys.  
Even if I conveniently slip away during the awards ceremony and their performance (which Skye has not stopped blabbering about-'Did you know? They're performing at the ARIAS!' at least seven times a day), and even if I manage to avoid Him, I'll most likely bump into one of the boys.  
And if I bump into one of the boys, they'll ask me how I'm doing, and then if we start talking He's bound to come over. Oh Jesus.  
Can I just throw myself off the roof and get him and all of this drama out of my life, like, now, please?  
I sigh. Skye would be furious and would probably perform frantic CPR on me (even if my ribs were broken-she wasn't the best at the training course) if I fell off the roof accidentally on purpose.  
I slip into my room, changing into a flowery skirt and a peachy pink sweater. I decide not to style my hair-I don't have the time or the energy for it, so I leave my brown hair hanging loosely down my shoulder and back. I look in my mirror. My eyes are naturally blue, but they turn grey in winter, which it is. I leave my eyes makeup free-I honestly don't care about what I look like. After putting on some black tights and heels, Skye and I head off to go to the ARIAS.  
A tiny knot of anxiety forms in my stomach. What if I do see him? What if he wants to talk? What if he's not the same person as before?  
What do I do?

Jess's P.O.V

Here Skye and I are at the Arias sure for most 18 year old girls this would be a dream come true but not me, not when my ex boyfriend will on stage with his bandmates. When Michael and I dated he was sweet, caring and funny he would always put me first. Acording to the news articles I've read and some of the fans post he's not had a girlfriend but a lot of one nightstands, he's rude, offensive, tactless and doesn't have time for fans. What kind of person is that? Doesn't even have time for the people who got him where he is.

You don't need him. You don't miss him. You will not look for him. Is what I thought as I looked around the room for Michael or any of the others, I just need to see him once more to make sure, to know us separating was for the best because I don't think it was. Once I see he's happy I'll be happy.

Skye grabs my hand dragging me over to her boyfriend Harry Styles. Yes I know it must be so amazing been friends with him, and your best friend dating him, Blah...Blah...Blah...Heard it all before about 50 fucking million times. Not to seem rude or anything but I do get kind of sick of it. 'hey..sweetie' Harry says to Skye kissing her 'you look beautiful' he whispers in her ear. ''Eww...Cringe..'' I say making gagging noises it's weird to think I used to be like that with Michael. Skye rolls her eyes at me. 'ignore her, she's just jealous' Harry says then kisses my cheek 'so jeaulous' I reply sarcastially wiping of his kiss. Harry pouts faking been offended. Harry and Skye walk of to go find their seats leaving me to stand alone before Zayn,Liam,Louis walk over to me. 'hey' Louis spoke 'didn't know you were coming,'

'Nice to see you though' Liam adds. 

I nervously laugh I am unsure why maybe it's the prospect of seen ,Michael 'Why are you been so fucking formal?. '

'I'd recognise that voice anywhere' I hear a Irish voice pronounce, Niall strides over to me engulfing me in a hug. 

'umm...Niall Mate' Shit, I know that voice it's Luke. Niall realases me and I instanly cast my eyes down to my boots instantly feeling awkard and anxious. I pull the sleeves of my balck jacket over my hands and paly with my fingers a nervous habit I picked up over the years. I wonder if he's seen me. I'm so lost in my thought that I don't even realise he's left and walked away until Niall grabs me to go find my seat which is near none of my friends obviously, just my luck right.

Michael's P.O.V

Smiling at the many cameras surrounding the boys and I. I fake a smile at the cameras no one will know the difference. I wonder what Jess is doing tonight will she come with Skye. We're lead into the room where the award ceremony will be held. I walk in immediately feeling out of place surrounded by people who don't know us and haven't got a clue what we've been through to get here. Jess always said 'everyone's full of shit and needs to stop acting two faced and just accept they know nothing about what we've been through and where we've come from' I then countered that 'sometimes people don't let others close enough for others to learn about their past.'

I follow Calum and Luke with Ashton walking behind me. We stop to talk to Niall 'hey, lads you excited for tonight?' Niall's voice fills my ears. Smiling Ashton speaks for us all 'yeah very excited lots of fans here. Should be a good night' Niall excuse's himself and the others and I walk off to go find our seats. I look around as we walk down the stairs that lead to the stage looking up from my black boots I see her. I see Jess. She's with Skye talking to the One Direction boys. God she looks beautiful. She looks happy. I wonder if she's moved on..if she's found someone new...Is she happy? 'Mate quit staring you broke up with her remember' Ashton tells me leading us to our seats.   
Fuck I screwed up why did I break up with her. 

 

Jess's P.O.V

Once I've sat down in my chair. I look around noticing Michael and the other 5 seconds of summer boys a few meters away I instantly being to hope and pray none of them turn around.

I've been sat here peacefully, trying to resit the urge to stare at Michael and watch as his face lights up every time he smile. About halfway through the awards, Michael decides to turn around looking right in my direction he stares solemnly. I quickly get up and leave needing to get away from there. From him. 'Jess please, Jess wait' Michael calls after me.'let met explain'  
'Explain what Michael!' I shout turning round.'explain how you tore me fucking part. Explain how it was so easy for you to give up on us.How you left me a broken mess. Michael I'm done sorry'  
'Don't you love me' he sobs.  
'Yes I love you so much more then words could even comprehend but sometimes when you love something you have to let it go' I walk away tears streaming down my face, and my make up. I send a quick text to Skye, 'gone home. Not feeling well.have a fun night.xx' I hate love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please let me know what you think and share it with your friends. thank you hope you're having a goo day


	4. It's A Date

Jess's P.O.V

It's been a week since the ARIAS and I'm back at Art School, Skye's barely home she's been in London or with Harry and when she is home she spends her time talking about Harry or London which to be quite honest I don't give two shits about. Not when I hear about it 50 fucking times a day.

I'm sat in my room listening to 21 guns by Green Day staring at my poster of Evan Peters trying to somehow think of how I can draw both sides of him the good and the bad. I spin aimlessly in my chair stopping at the window and looking outside. I begin to wonder how strange it is that we walk past possible hundreds of different people everyday and know nothing other then what they look like and we think that gives us the right to judge them. We have no idea what that person is going through that person may have cried themselves to sleep last night, they have found out they're going to be an Uncle or they may be planning to kill themselves. Our words have a very powerful effects both negative and positive, what you say could change someone's life for ever it could decide if they life carry on or not. 

As I'm pondering this, I came up with an idea for my drawing. About 30 scraps in the bin, 3 broken pencils, about 50 swear words later I have 1 decent looking drawing. Praying my Art teacher Mr.Drew would be happy with it. I change out of my jeans and Misfits shirt and in to running trousers and a sports top, I headed out to the gym.

Michael's P.O.V

It had been a week since the ARIAS and things had returned to normal interview,interview,show,fuck another groupie wishing it was Jess. I hate talking about them like that but it's the only way not to get attached to them. She wasn't even mine, yet she had be under some kind of spell. We were at the airport waiting to fly to England so we could perform at the jingle bell ball and I couldn't find my passport.  
'Shit!'   
'What is it Michael?' Ashton asks.  
'I've lost my passport'  
'No! You haven't have you checked that bag' Ashton asks pointing to my black bag sat by my feet. I nod. 'Well you're telling management, not us' Calum says.  
'Are you fucking kidding Michael!? Okay well your going to have to stay here the other three will have to perform with out you' Our manager Zop says. 'No we can't perform without Michael ' Luke cries.  
'Look mate you have to'  
'But I don't want to' he pouts looking like a little child. I look over at Zop for support he just shakes his head 'Luke grow some balls and go fucking smash it with out me, okay?' I instruct him.

'Okay?' I press after getting no response.

'Okay...' Luke giggles.'we just...do you know what we just did' Luke giggles.  
'Yeah I do you idiot now go' I laugh hugging him then pushing him towards the gate before hugging Calum and Ashton goodbye.

I decide to do what any normal person does with a day of and go on Twitter and apologise tell the boys how amazing they did, tweet that I miss them.

Jess's P.O.V

'Come on you've got to come' Skye is in the middle of trying to pursued me to go to New York with her for a holiday. 'Come on it will be fun. Niall will be there' referring to the crush I had on him before her and Harry started dating about 6 months ago. 'Fine I'll come' I give in.  
So that explains why I'm sat here at 3.30 in the fucking morning waiting for flight 345 to New York to say I thought I was about to shit myself would be an understatement I almost certain I might die. A. Have I never been on a plane before B. I get really bad travel sickness C. I'm flying alone (not a good idea especially if it's your first time flying) 'flight 345 to New York is reading to be boarded please wait at gate 6.

After going through all the routine checks I walk on to the plane and find my seat next to a woman with natural brunette hair she is smartly dressed in a pencil skirt and high heels with a buttoned up shirt tucked in to it all I think about as I sit next to her how uncomfortable it must be to where high heels for a 20 hour flight looking down at my dark green hair and ripped black skinny jeans that I chose to wear my everyday black vans with along with one of Michael's old Sex Pistol shirts that I just couldn't bring myself to throw away. Looking at us you would this this lady and I would not get along we were polar opposites. You know what they say though looks can be deceiving. I throw my stuff in too the over head department and as I do I get the lady who I have to sit next to groans in discomfort. 'Hi I'm Jess' I smile sitting next to her if I'm going to have to sit next to her I might as well get to know her. 'I'm Susan and let me guess your a drop out who plays in some punk metal band and what's to find fame and fortune in the big apple and your boyfriend if on drugs and a bad boy but that's what you love about. His bad boy attitude . I know all about you kinda of people. You're bad' Susan replies in a stuck up voice. All I can think of if how I want to make a sassy remark about how I all about her kind of people and how snobby they are but I bite my tongue and smile at her.   
'You couldn't be more wrong actually I go to Art School' I begin to tell her.  
'Well that's ridiculous what a waste of money' she scoffs. This lady and I are obviously not going to get along, how am I supposed to spend 20 hours with her.  
'I'm not in a punk band..I can't sing at all. ' I lightly laugh trying to life the mood. I can play 2 notes on the harp though. I'm going to New York on holiday with a friend who's flying from London and I don't have a boyfriend. What about you?'   
'Sorry I don't talk to people of your kind' Susan says tapping a Air Hostess on the shoulder 'excuse me Miss I would like to move seats please' Susan asks her.

"May I ask why?"the air hostess replies sweetly "this girl isn't suitable for my kind of people"

'Let me just see if there are any other available seats' the Air Hostess Wendy her name tag read gives me an apologetic smile. 'Where to next?' Susan laughs mocking my tattoo it's a open book that says 'Where to next?' I got it on my 18th."Stupid" I hear the women mutter, and I begin to cover my tattoo with my hand, I can't help but sigh when Wendy returns-glad this women will be leaving. Wendy walks back to us 'the gentleman over there had agreed to switch seats with you M'am' she points to a man I instantly recognise as Joel Madden oh shit. How did I not notice this before? And I wonder what she has to say about his appearance? I start internally fangirling swearing again and again. 'I'm sure you'll get along much better with him' she informs me as I wave her goodbye. Susan grabs her shit and she's gone replaced by Joel. 'Hi I'm Joel lovely to meet you' Joel reached out his hand for me to shake I accept it 'Jess' I tell him. 

'I heard what Miss I know everything said to you rude much' Joel whispered to me. I giggle unable to comprehend the fact that I was sat next to Joel Fucking Madden.

There was only about an hour left of the flight and I decide fuck it I'm going to tell him 'I know who you are. And I fucking love you' I tell him.

'I know who you are you dated Michael Clifford left him heartbroken. Your known as the only girl Michael ever loved' he jokes and we both laugh at our confessions.

I'm so confused if Michael loved me so much why did he end it? Why is he sleeping with all these other girls? How does Joel know all of this?

'How so you know I broke his heart" I ask him my eyebrows furrowed.

'I've been round Michael when he's drunk he's slurred about you a few times.... mate I never should've left her...I'm such a fuck up why did I leave her...I'd her you know that' He slurs pretending to be drunk Michael making me laugh.

'Please fasten your seatbelts we are landing' The head air hostess speaks over head. I buckle my seatbelt as Joel does the same. 'it was nice to meet you Jess' Joel hugs me as we part our ways as he heads towards his wife and I the doors and to the hotel where I was meeting Skye.

~At Hotel~

'Oh my gosh I missed you so much' Skye embraces me in a hug for what feels like the millionth time, her Australian accent slightly weaker then mine due to all the time she'd spent away in other countries unlike me who rarely left the house. I am so lazy my family nicknamed me sloth. 'I missed you too. Are you coming home soon?' I ask her.

'soon I promise' Skye mumbles. 

'Come on get ready! Harry and I have got you a date!' She claps her hands jumping up and down from exicment. 'I do not need you and your perfect other half to set me up' I groan.

'Please I quarantee you'll like him' Sky begs.

'Your not going to stop till I say yes. Are you?' I look at her with a bored expression.

'Yay!!! Thanks hun!' She shrieks hugging me. She waltzs off in to the bathroom to get ready a few seconds later I hear her singing coming from the bathroom starting quietly and getting louder 'I remember the day you told me you were leaving. I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them. Like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with Amnesia.'

'SKYE! Shut the fuck up!' I yell maybe that was a little to harsh but my nerves are calmed when she laughs back at me. I grab my black skinny jeans, with a black top with a white heart on it and my favourite pair of black boots, putting my watch one and packing my rucksack. I head to the bathroom to check my hair and make-up re-doing my bright red lipstick. Here goes nothing.

The date was boring as shit the guy they set me up with was a rude narcissistic asshole who frankly for all I care could shove his snobby posh mummy's boy attitude up his ass. So much for liking him and Skye and Harry were all over one another making me want to puke. So as far as dates go not the best.

I had to get of there which is why I find myself sat in an old indie music store that smells strongly of smoke and mixed spices despite the no smoking sign. A bell rings signalling someone has just walked in but nothign could prepare me for who would in. Not even the cool breeze that swept through the store. Or not even the obnoxious ringing of the shop bell.

Michael's P.O.V

Bored. I begin to head down the street, I grab coffee and continue to walk further down the isolated part of town, I see a old indie music store. There's something about it's steamed up misty windows and the way that it's window had a crack in the top left corner draw me to it. Walking in everyone turned to stare as the shop bell obnoxiously rung. The smell of smoke and mixed spices drifted up my nostrils. I begin to look around spotting a familiart looking girl 'Jess' I wonder out loud. She looks up from The Kooks record she was looking at 'Michael' she respones. She looks beautiful in almost all black, a blue demin jacket nags lossely on her shoulders. 'What you doing here Michael?' She enquires. 'Trying to pick up girls' I joke.

'I can belive that' She muses walking away.

'well it worked on you so it must be a good idea' I carry on my playfull joke.

'You were differnt then' She tells me whilst picking up The Killers, Sam's Town Vinyl.

'I haven't changed I promise you' I try convicing her. Jess doesn't seem to believe me.

'Come on let me prove I haven't changed' I beg.

'Fine...Fine..'She huffed.'But!' She points a finger at me 'Only so you'll leave me alone'

'Great' We exchange numbers and after 10 minutes of arguing I buy her records for her. 'It's date' I yell after her as she gets in the taxi and drives away shaking her head at me. I will not ruin this, this is my last shot ast love I will not fuck it up.

Great. I have a change to show her how much she means to me. What's the phrase Words speak louder then actions...No...is it Picture speak louder then Words...Fuck it... YOLO!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: please leave kudos , comment and go tell your friends and dogs about this. It took me so long. Hope you enjoy it.


	5. The Date

Jess's P.O.V  
I was getting ready for my 'date' with Michael. I had decided to wear a white sundress with sandals my now black hair that ombre's down into a midnight blue colour hangs half down my back and the other half down my right shoulder, my big 'emo' (according to my mother) fringe hangs over my eyes. I finishing winging my eyeliner something which even after 3 years of doing it everyday I still can't do for the life of me. I give up and decide to scroll through Tumbrl looking on the tag All Time Low because let's face it they're are perfection. *insert heart eyes*  
I interrupt by the song of the door bell startled I jump almost screaming.  
I compose myself and walk over to the door opening it, Michael is stood leaning against the door frame cigarette in his mouth. I take the cigarette out of his mouth and throw it on the floor. 'You didn't smoke when we used to date' I remark.  
'You said you like that guy from The Fault In Our Stars I was trying to be like him'Michael tells me.  
'Well don't...' I tell. 'I like you for you' I mutter hoping he won't hear.  
'Right where are we going?' I ask him excitedly.  
'You shall have to wait and see all you need to know is there is a car waiting for you and I' he gestures between me and him making me giggle 'so it can take us on our date, well not the car but the driver' I smile at him as he fumbles over his words, and begins to blush.

Michael's P.O.V

'So Michael tell me about yourself?' Jess asks in a very formal interviewer way 'well Jess I'm in a band' fake yawning she says 'boring next!' laughing at her own joke I shake my head and reply 'well sorry if I'm not interesting enough maybe you should talk about yourself'  
'Well..' The minute she starts talking I make a upside down thumb gesture and blow a raspberry with my tongue.'Hey that was mean' she whines and gently slaps my arm and for a while it feels as if we're dating again.

I decide to take Jess to the park where we will have a picnic and watch the sun set. Very romantic or at least that's what my mum said when I told her about my plan last night. Let's hope Jess thinks so.  
The car pulls up at the park and I get out also opening Jess's door for her and offering her my hand to help her out. 'Did I mention you look absolutely stunning?' I flirt with her.  
She blushes and looks down to the ground I place my hand on her chin and lift her head up 'you are you beautiful' I tell her brushing her fringe out of her eyes. As we walk over to a spot at the far end of the park under a huge old oak tree we talk about the three years we haven't been in one another's lives she went to sixth form and dated a guy there for a while he then cheated on her with her best friend at the time Katie. She then went of to University and is a Art Major. I tell her a bit about tour but leave out all the groupies I've been with.  
'Here we are' Jess smiles after we've walked for what feels like forever. I place the blanket out and we begin to eat and talk about pointless stuff I decide to ask her 'do you think we'll ever get back together?' She sighs and looks at me  
'Michael I don't know...I mean when we broke up I was really hurt. I couldn't believe you just throw me aside like everything we had was nothing and I was perfectly fine with different timezones and long distance calls, I don't sleep at all without you pressed against me. But you seem fine with out me, does that mean that all we had was a lie because I'm really not fine at all.' She's sobbing by the time she's finished and my heart has completely broken. 'Sky said you were doing fine' I tell her quietly 'well I'm not okay, I miss you everyday and it hurts that you just gave up on us and don't give a shit anymore when I can never stop caring for you Michael.' She full on crying now. 'Hey it's fine, I never stop caring for you either' I wrap my arms round her as she cries in to my sweater. 'I'd you never stop caring why did you go out and sleep with all those groupies' she asks looking up in to my eyes with her big bright green ones 'because I want to forget you ' I confess 'I thought sleeping with them would make me somehow forget you...but it didn't work ' I finish. 'I wrote you a song do you want to hear it' she nods and O pick up my guitar and begin to play Close As Strangers to her.

By the time I finish playing she's crying all over again 'hey don't cry' I try to calm her down, wiping away the tears from her eyes along with her smudged eyeliner. 'I take it you liked it then' I ask she nods quickly a smile appearing on her face. She stares in to my eyes and I stare in to her they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen I look at her lips then back to eyes before closing my eyes and leaning in she follows and the kiss is sweet I can taste her cherry chap stick. This feeling, this feeling of been close to someone, this feeling of been completely sober the only thing I'm intoxicated on is Jess and my love for her. I've missed this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi please let me know what you think hope you all like this chapter.


	6. The Only Reason

Michael's P.O.V  
My phone buzzes the minute I step in to the apartment I share with Calum, Luke and Ashton. The text is from Jess and it reads I hate you Michael Clifford. My heart breaks at those 5 words on the screen. She must have found out about Libby. How? 'Hey mate did you see the news?' Ashton walks in to the kitchen with nothing but jogging bottoms on I shake my head. He then explains they spoke about me and Jess and then my 'wild' night with Libby, she even posted about it on Instagram. What a cow. She's lucky I even went near her. I only slept with her cause she was easy.

I try calling Jess but it goes straight to voicemail 'look Jess I'm really sorry just let me explain' I leave the 18th message today. 'Wanna play Fifa?' Luke asks 'no i'm alright' I reply not in the mood to play or even be around people so I decide to head out, hoping I don't meet any fans when I'm in such a shitty mood.  
I step out in to the cool breeze of the London air, I decide to walk to Convert Gardens since I know the route pretty well, Jess loves Convert Gardens. Especially at autumn when all the leaves change colour and she gets to wear my sweaters with her boots. She always looks so cuddly and cute in my sweaters and they're to big for her. I arrive at Convert gardens, I sit down on a bench. I'm sat minding my own business when someone interrupts me 'hey do you mind if I sit here?' I look up and see none other then Ed Sheeran 'sure'   
'I'm Ed by the way' he offers me his hand to shake 'I know' I reply shaking his hand 'Michael' I state.  
'What's up with you then Michael'  
'Cheated on my girlfriend' I reply blankly, he'd find out any way and it's not the first time we'd meet. We meet at the American Music Awards. 'That's..' He begins  
'I know I'm a shit person, I've reached a whole new level of been a dick. I love her Ed though. I love her so fucking much. She makes me so happy and it's not fake happiness. It's really happiness. I can be myself round her and I know she won't judge me if anything she'll love me more because in her eyes that means I'm letting my walls down more even if it's to her. She doesn't care. And the way she smiles is something else entirely. Fuck mate I'm so fucking whipped. I fucking love her' I break down in tears and I'm a complete mess. 'You know what you've got to do?' Ed questions the blank expression on my face I'm sure answered his question 'write her a song, tell her how you feel in a song'   
'Ed that is fucking genius'   
'Here' he says handing me paper and a pen. 'I'll see you around Michael' I nod and wave him goodbye. 

I decide to find a cafe to write my song in I stumble across a authentic little cafe it looks quiet so I decide it would be perfect to write my song in. As I walk in the cafe a round, smiley looking women speaks to me 'hi sir, what can I get you?'   
'Coffee please' I answer smiling at her I look around as I wait for my order there's only three other people in the cafe there's two girls who must be about fourteen. One is Chinese and has boyfriend jeans and a plain black t-short on, a black Jacket hangs on the back of her chair, she talks and smiles to the other girl who has long blonde hair extremely different to her friends hair which is short and a dark brown colour, the blonde is wearing tight, skinny black jeans with boots, she has a Green Day shirt on and a leather jacket keeping her warm. She laughs at something the other one says. There's a man about middle age sat in the corner at the back of the cafe he's reading a book probably oblivious to the girls and I been here. 'Here you go sir' The lady returns with my coffee. I thank her and pay before taking a seat and sitting in front of the girls by the window in the middle and begin to write. About 50 re writes later,Three cups of coffee, two pens later I have one song complete The Only Reason. It's about carrying on for that one person. Because Jess is The Only Reason for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this please let me know what you think


	7. I Miss You

Jess's P.O.V

 

The next day I Skype Sky who's in L.A with Harry and tell her everything that happened. 'I can't believe he did that, what a dick. I really thought he'd changed'

'So did I Sky, I feel so alone and betrayed. I really wanted to believe he wasn't what the media said he was. That he was still the person I used to know. He was never like this he used to be sweet,caring and preferred cuddling and playing video games to drugs and a party. Why did he have to change?' I ask. 'When I get back tomorrow we will go out and find you a nice polite man who can treat you like a queen' I nod smiling. 'Look babe I have to go my sexy ass of a boyfriend is about to go on stage' I laugh and hang up, waving.

I shower to try and clear my mind from any thoughts of Michael which is very successful but the minute I step out of the shower he invades my thoughts again I think of his smile and how happy he makes me. Why did he have to run everything? I change in to my pjs with cows on that say mood in the morning if Michael was here he's made some snide comment about them. I curl up in bed and decide to watch a entire series of American Horror Story wishing Michael could love me as much as Tate loves Violet. Or if Tate could love me as much as he loves Violet. Either one works for me.   
I'm woken up to the sound of a scratching key at the door, Sky comes drifting in the half light her funny yellow shoes that she always wears the only thing visible. 'Sky' I whisper. She screams clearly not noticing me in the dim lighting. I turn the light on almost blinding my self from the contrast to the darkness we were in before. Sky runs up to me hugging me. Her long brown hair flying in my face 'I've missed you so much' Sky gushes   
'I've missed you too but I'm really tired I'm going back to sleep'   
'You can't it's 8 you have school'  
'Shit! I have school. Crap' I rush to my bedroom to get ready.  
'I'll see you for lunch' I call to Sky as I grab my bag and race out of the apartment. I make it just as the bell goes.

~end of the day~  
My day was pretty uneventful, Michael called 16 times and texted 22 times. I'm hoping he'll get the message and give up. There's been more photos of him with various other girls, or drunken tweets. I can not believe I thought he'd changed. How naive of me. I decide to go shopping after school. Just as I'm walking down the high street I see Michael's bright red hair instantly wanting to run in the opposite direction, I decide to walk down a alley to a part of town I know isn't very busy. It's a little park that has a pond at the far end, trees line the perimeter. It's my safe haven I used to come and listen to Paradise Fears whenever my parents argued. These only one other person I've told about this place and that person is Michael, I've never showed him though. I take a seat on one of the benches admiring the sun setting and how it shines certain parts of the grass and how the Autumn leaves reflect magically of the pond. 'It's quite something isn't it' I turn to where the voice came from and see Michael sat staring at me next to me 'stalking me now' I reply crossing my legs over 'I wanted to explain' he begs  
'Explain what Michael, how one moment you were nice, sweet and caring and the next your a backstabbing, lying, bastard because I don't think even you can explain that. Explain how you made me think you were different only to prove I was stupid to even try to convince myself you were' I can feel my tears rolling down my cheeks like there's no tomorrow. 'Would you just listen' Michael begs.'no I don't want to' I snap at him. 'I wrote you a song I'm sorry' he crying to now I can tell by the way his voice broke as he tried to speak. 'Sorry doesn't fix anything it doesn't take back what you did with her' I shout at him 'please Jess..' He cries  
'Just go Michael' I cry turning away from him. He stands but as he stands he takes a CD out of his pocket and places it on the bench. Once he's left I pick it up and read the sticky note on it which reads I sorry, I miss you. I remove the sticky note and screw up. Scribbled in Michael's handwriting on the CD are the words The Only Reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, let me know what you think


	8. Don't Forgive Him

Jess's P.O.V  
I place the CD in my laptop sighing deeply and loudly bracing myself for what I am about to hear. Preparing myself for the worst, I click play. I'm shocked when I hear the first chord of an acoustic guitar as most of their songs are up beat and happy I could tell this song was going to be serious.'don't talk let me think it over. How we gonna fix this, how we gonna undo all the pain' It's like I'm hit by a truck with in the first line hearing the pain in Michael's voice. No don't forgive him. I remind myself. He sounds so hurt yet his voice is so beautiful.

'When I close my eyes and try to sleep  
I fall apart, I'm fighting hard to breathe  
You're the reason, the only reason  
Even though my dizzy head is numb,  
I swear my heart is never giving up  
You're the reason, the only reason.'  
The chorus is the most haunting beautiful thing I've ever heard I'm fighting so hard not to call him and forgive him tell him I love him that I always have and always will. That he pisses me off so much but I want to spend the rest of my life pissed of at him, if that's the only way I can have him in my life. That I don't want anyone else to hold him,kiss him, please him, I don't want him to want anybody else. I want to call him and tell him I need him and that he completes me but I can't and it takes everything in me not to call him and tell him. I love him.

I walk over to the counter and pour myself a glass of whiskey, the song still playing in the background Bitter words spoken,Everything broken  
It's never too late to bring us back to life. Wiping away the tears racing rapidly down my cheeks I grab my phone and open Twitter I decide to tweet something to let Michael know I've listened to the song, that is if he sees it '@JessHansdown You're the reason the only reason' the song finishes and I'm on my fourth drink of the evening. I check Twitter seeing I have a new notification. Michael had seen my tweet, he'd favourited it too. Maybe I should forget or about this and forgive him. Don't forgive him,don't forgive him, don't forgive him, he hurt you, he broke you, you hate him. My subconscious reminds me her words stinging like venom as they enter my mind but she's right I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him but I love him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I haven't updated in a while so here, sorry about that I've been super busy with school,family,friends etc. This is just a short little filler. I'll update again soon. Don't forget to comment,vote,share and all that other stuff you can do. Love you all.xx

**Author's Note:**

> Hi my name's Christina and this is my first story please let me know what you think.


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